Permuta Triangulus
by whippy
Summary: Draco is lost in a distant Muggle city and ordinary magic cannot find him. It’s up to Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle to save him. Is he doomed??? Also features Harry, Ron, and Hermione.
1. Ravenclaws They Weren't

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. This was written for fun and no copyright infringement is intended. 

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Chapter 1: Ravenclaws They Weren't 

----- 

When Vince and Greg were 11 years old, they looked like they were sixteen. Now that they really were sixteen, they looked like nineteen-year-olds. Big, meaty nineteen-year-olds with bull necks. They were also dumb as posts. Ravenclaws they weren't! They just about had one brain between the two of them and that wasn't really enough to get by without help. Neither were they Gryffindors; big as they were, they'd had precious little chance in life to learn bravery. Situations that required true physical bravery - at least, bravery on their part - just didn't come up that often. Now, Vince and Greg weren't sorted into Hufflepuff either, but that was a House they probably could have fit well into because Vince and Greg were extremely loyal. Loyal to their little pal Draco Malfoy, that is. 

Draco was about as different from Vince and Greg as a person could be. Instead of being huge for his age, he was small. All obsessive Quidditch practice had done for him so far was strip off his baby fat, and weight-lifting was a bit too much like hard labor to appeal to Draco's Slytherin nature. He was, in the words of his enemies, "a puny little git". 

He was also smart as a whip, though most people didn't realize that. He was a Slytherin through and through and it wouldn't have occurred to him to prefer winning on his merits over winning by cheating. Winning was winning after all, and the ends were more important than the means. That's how it had been in the Malfoy family for generations. 

The Malfoys were an old pureblood wizarding family and Draco's father Lucius was an important Ministry official. Lucius was also, it was widely believed, a Death Eater and in Voldemort's favor, which only made him more powerful in the wizarding community. 

Though Draco possessed a healthy cowardly streak and not a bit of gut-level Gryffindor-style bravery, his background and upbringing made him insufferably and baselessly overconfident in everyday situations. He'd grown up flaunting his father's name and his father's power, and though he'd been trained to be respectful around his father's business and social associates, he was incapable of being remotely polite around anybody else of lower social stature. Not only that, he was incapable of keeping his mouth shut, and couldn't seem to stop himself from rashly picking on and deliberately enraging his social less-than-equals. He was never satisfied until they'd lost control and gone after him. 

which was where Vince and Greg came in. Because frankly, Draco didn't have what it took to back up his big mouth with his fists, and though he was pretty good with a wand his overconfidence almost always let his opponents throw the first curse. 

With Vince and Greg to back him up, things were entirely different. Draco wasn't often inclined to throw the first punch, and Vince and Greg had learned many interesting ways of preventing others from doing so. Often their simple presence was enough. Other times, a glare or a meaningful smacking of fist into palm did the trick. When necessary, Vince and Greg could intercede physically, and were capable of pounding into the dust nearly any other combination of kids at Hogwarts. 

In other words, with Vince and Greg acting as his bodyguards Draco could indefinitely postpone learning those brutal life-lessons learned earlier by people who didn't have such large friends. 

Their little unspoken arrangement worked very well for Vince and Greg too. Draco's arrogance, childish petulance, ill temper, and snide comments had no effect upon them. They simply didn't have the mental horsepower to compute most of it, and the rest didn't seem that big a deal. After all, how could you really be insulted by someone you could beat to a pulp with one arm tied behind your back? Besides, Draco's nastiness worked to Vince and Greg's advantage in many ways. Even the other Slytherins, who lusted after his father's money and position, didn't really care to be Draco's friend outside of the public eye. This meant less competition for the two ogre-like boys. And his incessant disparaging comments and his habit of bluntly ordering them around had the fortuitous, and perhaps not entirely unintentional, effect of piloting Vince and Greg through the more confusing aspects of life with a minimum of mishap. 

Furthermore, by protecting Draco over the years, Vince and Greg had increased their own fathers' standing with Draco's father, for which they received rare parental praise -- and for which their fathers received rare Lucius-ly praise. It was, all in all, a good thing. 

One thing many people didn't realize was how hard Vince and Greg worked to keep Draco out of trouble. Just as the stupidest of beasts knows to guide its young away from danger, so Vince and Greg had a knack for recognizing people and situations that would push the buttons of their volatile friend. 

Their huge bodies could be maneuvered to block his peripheral vision, and sometimes his normal sight if necessary. A dropped book, a stupid question or a fake argument which Draco would have to break up, often sufficed to allow a potential victim to slip away even once Draco had already spotted them. Being snapped at by Draco was a small price to pay for avoiding a serious confrontation. 

By far, the people most likely to push Draco's buttons were the annoying threesome of Potter, Granger, and Weasley. And as it happens, this tale of woe begins with an encounter with those very three. 

----- 

Draco's head whipped around. He'd spotted Potter, Granger, and Weasley coming around a corner on the cross corridor. Granger was carrying something shiny in her hand and they were all huddled around it. 

Greg tried to shift to block Draco's view, but it was too late. Draco pushed Greg hard, which mostly resulted in him propelling himself away from the much larger boy. "Get out of the way you great lump!" he snapped, and then he advanced purposefully upon the three Gryffindors. 

Vince and Greg exchanged glances, and then hastened to follow. 

The trio only noticed them coming at the last moment, far too late to get away. 

"What's that?" asked Draco, snatching the bit of metal out of Hermione's hand. This was yet another of Draco's many inflammatory habits. It was the unfortunate result of having been spoilt rotten by his parents and their servants. 

"Hey, give that back Malfoy!" said Granger hotly. 

"Make me," said Draco automatically. Right on cue, Vince and Greg stepped up behind him cracking their knuckles menacingly. 

"Make you?" said Potter boldly, surveying Vince and Greg hulking behind Draco. There was a pause. "OK." He stepped forward with typical Gryffindor rashness and pointed his wand square at the three of them. _"Styayate!" _he enunciated loudly. There was a loud WHUMP noise and a shower of colorful sparks. Draco hurled himself to the floor with his arms wrapped around his head. Vince and Greg, lacking his Seeker's reflexes, were hit full on by the curse and transformed into lifelike stone statues, each wearing a quite characteristic befuddled expression. 

"Two out of three, not bad," said Weasley in admiration. 

----- 

The narrator must, at this time, switch temporarily to following the exploits of Potter, Granger, and Weasley, since Vincent and Gregory are - to put it bluntly - not going to be doing anything interesting in a long, long, time. 

----- 

Malfoy leaped to his feet in outrage. He whipped his wand out but he never had a chance. 

_"Expelliarmo!" "Flamengo!" "Furittus!"_ the trio yelled simultaneously. 

Malfoy's eyes widened in alarm as _Bang! _His wand flew out of his hand into Hermione's and he was hurled backward, bouncing off the wall. _Whing!_ Harry's hex narrowly missed his head, striking the wall with a smack. _Zoinng-whud!_ Ron's curse bit into the center of his chest. 

"Urrgh!" groaned Malfoy, and he doubled over. And then, with a loud bang, he vanished, to be replaced by an unhappy-looking white ferret. 

Harry, Ron and Hermione exploded helplessly into laughter. "I've been practicing that for _months!" _exclaimed Ron. "Ever since Moody." 

He was interrupted by an angry-sounding squeal from the floor. The ferret was glaring up at them gesticulating with its forepaws. 

"Anybody speak ferret?" asked Hermione. 

"Not I," said Harry. 

The ferret jumped up and down in a rage. This only made them laugh harder. 

"A pity you missed that time, Harry," Hermione added. "A hot-pink ferret would have been something to see." 

"A crying shame," agreed Ron. He pulled a quill out of his book bag and proceeded to write "I'm with Stupid" on Crabbe and Goyle's stone foreheads in red and gold ink. 

Meanwhile, Hermione stooped and picked up the little enamelled-metal triangle, which had flown of Malfoy's hand the first time he'd hit the deck. 

"So what is this thing, anyway?" she asked, returning to their original conversation. 

"Let's see it," said Ron. Hermione handed it to him and they huddled round to peer over his shoulder. 

The ferret grabbed onto the hem of Ron's robe and tugged, trying to get his attention. Perhaps it wanted its transformation reversed. Sadly for the ferret, the Gryffindors were thoroughly engrossed in what they were doing. 

"Oh, I see," said Ron. "It's a bracelet charm. See, here's how it would attach to the chain. You just wear a bunch of different ones on a bracelet, and then when you need it you grab the one you want and squeeze, like thi-" 

**WHAM!**

----- 

As has been mentioned before, Crabbe and Goyle were no Ravenclaws. But to be perfectly fair, neither were Harry, Ron and Hermione. Not by a long shot. 

Hermione was undoubtedly the brightest of the three, and perhaps the brightest student in the entire school. However, as a would-be Ravenclaw she had a major flaw: she was actually braver than she was smart. This caused her to go along with the things Ron and Harry did even though she could tell it was perfectly insane. Even had she been a little less brave, however, she still wouldn't have been a Ravenclaw. That is because she was also very loyal and hard working. Although she didn't realize it, she probably would have been a Hufflepuff if she hadn't ended up in Gryffindor. 

Harry, on the other hand, had very nearly ended up in Slytherin. He tended to think outside of the box. Rules, for him, were something that was imposed from without, and to be flaunted if there was any way to get away with it. However, he was also an idealist. And in a fit of idealism, quite ironically, he'd asked to be placed in Gryffindor, and his wish had been granted. 

As for Ron - well, though he was a loyal friend, he was a Gryffindor through and through, and had rash chivalry in abundance. Anyone who'd seen his father physically attack Lucius Malfoy in a public bookstore could see that foolhardy bravery and ideological righteousness - not to mention quick temper and lack of self-control - were not simply a phase Ron was going to outgrow any time soon. Though he had grown up in a wizarding family and therefore had a bit more background on magic than either Harry or Hermione, he did tend to be a bit impetuous and didn't always think things out first. Thus: 

---- 

**WHAM!**

Suddenly they were standing on a streetcorner of a major city. Noise crashed in on them. They were surrounded by Muggles. Thousands of Muggles hurrying past on all sides, bumping and pushing. Stunned, they all looked at each other. 

"Ron!" shrieked an exasperated Hermione. "You didn't have to actually _demonstrate_ it!" 

"Wow!" said Harry. He sounded excited. "Where _are_ we? Are all these people Muggles?" 

"We must be in the States. Look at how they drive." Ron pointed at the cars streaming the wrong way down the streets. 

"Yes, look!" exclaimed Harry, pointing at an American flag flying above what looked like a bank. 

"This triangle must be some kind of Portkey!" said Ron. 

"We are going to be in _so_ much trouble," groaned Hermione. 

The ferret didn't say anything, because it had fainted and lay draped over Ron's foot. 

Back at Hogwarts, the two statues of Crabbe and Goyle stood silently in the dark corridor, not to be discovered for some time. 

----- 

A/N: Please review this story. Please? Pretty pretty please? Also see my other stories, _Blood of Mud, Wing of Bat_ and _Introduction to Auroring_. 


	2. What They'd Suspected All Along

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. This was written for fun and no copyright infringement is intended. 

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Chapter 2: What They'd Suspected All Along 

----- 

It's not that nobody _cared _about the plight of Vincent and Gregory. It's just that in the initial excitement of Potter, Granger, and Weasley going missing, the detail that three Slytherins were also missing was sort of overlooked. This was partially Draco's fault; he was so intensely irritating as an individual that most people at the school who'd wondered where he and his two cronies had gone simply shrugged off their absence and counted themselves lucky without thinking about it any further. 

Everything changed drastically the next morning, when a care package Draco's mother sent him was returned as undeliverable. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy descended upon Hogwarts like two fire-breathing dragons who had just discovered their shiniest jewel missing from the hoard. 

Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, did the only sensible thing under the circumstances: he ordered Severus Snape, Slytherin's Head of House and Dumbledore's first choice for the most dangerous and nasty work, to take them away -- preferably far away -- and keep them soothed and distracted while the school embarked upon a second search. 

All of the students were rounded up and the prefects performed a roll call. To their considerable chagrin, the Slytherin prefects were forced to report that nobody had seen Draco, Vincent or Gregory since about the time the Gryffindors had vanished the previous day. 

Every locating spell known to wizarding kind had already failed to reveal the whereabouts of Potter, Granger, and Weasley, and so it was little surprise when the Slytherins could not be located either. After several hours, the Hogwarts staff admitted defeat. They reported the Slytherins missing to the Ministry (having previously reported the missing Gryffindors) and then Severus Snape was given the rest of the week off so that Dumbledore would not have to deal with the Malfoys again. 

----- 

Some three days after the disappearances, the caretaker's cat discovered Vincent and Gregory's statues gathering dust in a little used corridor in the dungeons. 

She rubbed against one statue's knees, then looked up at the stony faces and vanished into the shadows with a hiss. 

----- 

Twenty minutes later, Vincent and Gregory were fully revived, their faces freshly scrubbed, and they were sitting side by side in the Hospital Wing while Poppy Pomfrey rummaged for something in a cabinet. 

Soon they would be standing at terrified attention before an audience of Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Argus Filch, Poppy Pomfrey, Professor Snape, and their and Draco's parents as well as the parents of the missing Gryffindors. 

The two took advantage of Pomfrey's distraction and held an urgently whispered and much-needed conference. 

"What are we gonna say?" 

"I don't know!" 

"I don't even know what happened." 

"Me neither." 

"What about that thing?" 

"What thing?" 

"That thing Draco was trying to grab." 

"Oh. That." 

"Yeah." 

"Dunno." 

"It looked like a triangle. Of metal." 

"You saw it?" 

"Well kinda." 

"What was it?" 

"Dunno." 

"Couldn't have seen it _that_ good then." 

"Who cares? I saw it was a triangle." 

"Um." 

"Think it was important?" 

"How should I know? I was a statue." 

"Me too." 

"This sucks." 

"I know." 

"So what are we gonna tell them?" 

"We could always tell them we don't know what happened." 

There was a long pause. 

They weren't supposed to not know what happened. 

They were supposed, in fact, to be watching out for Draco. Draco had grown up getting everything he wanted and being able to say anything he wanted. He simply did not know how to keep his hands off other people's things or shut up when his mouth started to get him in trouble. It was Vince and Greg's job to make sure he didn't suffer any more consequences than absolutely necessary. The two of them sat there pondering what might be happening to Draco at this very moment. And what might happen to them as a result. 

"My da's gonna kill me," said Vince. 

"Same here," said Greg glumly. 

----- 

_And now, let us see what_ was _happening to Draco at this very moment._

----- 

In the center of a table, in a 24-hour study lounge at a major Muggle university in a major Muggle city very far away, a large paper grocery sack with its top folded shut rocked back and forth slightly as the ferret within it shifted around. 

This was the temporary solution that Harry, Hermione and Ron had come up with so that they could keep track of Malfoy without any harm coming to him. At first having nothing else they had tried putting him in one of their book bags, but the books had poked him and squashed him and he'd come out hours later in such a pitiful state that Hermione insisted another way be found. Fortunately they had managed to locate a grocer who would give them a sack for free. 

After several more hours had passed the ferret had still not succeeded in making his escape from the paper sack, which only confirmed what the three Gryffindors had suspected about Malfoy's fighting abilities all along. 

"I suppose we really ought to transform him back," said Harry now. "It's been days." 

"No way!" exclaimed Ron. 

"Ron's right," said Hermione to Harry. "Malfoy doesn't know the least thing about Muggles. He'd just get in trouble, or even killed. He's safer the way he is so we can keep an eye on him. We can say he's our pet or something. Some people keep ferrets as pets here." 

But Harry had already drawn his wand, discreetly so that none of the Muggles surrounding them would see. Grabbing the bag, he turned it upside down over the floor and the ferret was dumped out of the top of it and sprawled disoriented on the floor. 

_"Finite Incantatum!" _said Harry. 

Instantly Malfoy was transformed back into himself. His robes and hair were rumpled, bruises covered his pale skin, and he was curled up in what would have to have been an incredibly uncomfortable position. 

After a startled moment, he shot to his feet, looking outraged. 

"How dare you -" he began loudly. 

"Shhh!!" hissed the three Gryffindors at once. 

"Keep it down," Hermione urged him. "People are trying to study here. If we make noise, we'll get kicked out." 

"My father - " Malfoy began importantly. 

"Oh, sod your father," exclaimed Ron in frustration. "That's all you ever talk about is 'my father this' and 'my father that'. You don't hear the rest of us blathering on about our fathers do you?" 

There was a pause. 

"If I had a father like yours or Granger's I'd keep my mouth shut too," sneered Malfoy. "And isn't Potter's father dead?" 

"Right," said Ron decisively. He punched Malfoy in the stomach, knocking him down. Then he jumped on him punching and flailing. 

"Right," said Harry and Hermione tiredly. They grabbed Ron and dragged him kicking and struggling off of Malfoy. 

Malfoy scrambled to his feet again looking red-faced and even more bruised and tousled than before. 

By now many of the Muggle university students around them were staring. A fist fight wasn't something that ordinarily happened in a study lounge. Also, Malfoy was a standout in any crowd, but in this case even more so than usual because he was still wearing wizarding robes. The Gryffindors had removed their robes and stuffed them into their book bags two days before, having had Muggle clothes on underneath as a matter of habit. They hadn't thought to try to find any Muggle clothing for Malfoy however. 

Hermione and Harry gathered their things and hustled Ron and Malfoy out of the study room and down a corridor until they came to a quiet spot where nobody could overhear. 

"Stop it you two," said Hermione sternly. "We can't afford to get banned from this place. Don't you know how hard it is to find someplace we can stay for free all day and all night without too many people asking questions? Now it's only for a couple more days. If we all work together, maybe we can find out how to get home, and --" 

"What did you do to get us stuck here anyway, Weasley?" Malfoy demanded sneeringly. It was clear that after three days stuffed in a paper sack unable to contribute to the situation, he wasn't going to just sit still and shut up. "Whatever it is, it has to have been incredibly stupid, if it's defeated Granger's big head and Potter's accursed good luck." 

Ron pointed his wand at Malfoy. _"Furrit-"_

"Oh stop it," spat the blond Slytherin. "Do you have any idea how many times people have used that tired old curse on me since last year? Why don't I just save you the trouble and turn into a ferret by myself since I have about got it memorized." 

"Let's see!" said Hermione with interest, completely distracted from the argument at hand. 

"Not on your life Mudblood," hissed Malfoy. 

Ron raised his wand again. _"Furr -"_

"Wait a minute," said Harry, pushing Ron's hand down with a laugh. "How many times _have _you been turned into a ferret since Moody did it?" 

"I lost count after about a hundred and fifty," said Draco, turning his nose up in disdain. "It was weeks before I could even go into the Slytherin Common Room without catching it from all directions. Not to mention every Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff with a weakness for Truth or Dare had to try it at least once." 

"Have you done it by yourself though?" asked Hermione avidly. 

Malfoy's expression immediately turned wary. "Maybe." 

"No," said Ron scornfully. "He's lying. Although why, I can't imagine - why would anyone brag about being able to turn into a _ferret-"_

Draco bristled. "Forget it. It's none of your business anyway, _Weasel."_

"That's it," snarled Ron. _"Furritus!"_

And quick as that, Malfoy was turned into a ferret once again. Before the ferret could run off, Harry caught it around the middle. 

"Come on, let's get back so we don't lose our table," said Hermione. 

The others agreed, so they quickly sped back to the study room and reclaimed their table and the empty paper bag still lying on the floor beside it. Harry stuffed the ferret back into the bag and carefully folded the top again. 

"We were right, admit it," said Ron. 

Hermione looked smug. 

Harry shook his head. "I guess so. But what are we going to do? We can't just leave him like that forever." He placed the paper sack back in the middle of the table. 

"Oh, yes we can," said Ron. 

"For the time being," said Hermione firmly. "Just a couple more days." 

The ferret inside of the sack shifted about a couple more times, then subsided with a thump and a tiny sigh. 

----- 

A/N: Please review this story. Please? Pretty pretty please? Also see my other stories, _Blood of Mud, Wing of Bat_ and _Introduction to Auroring_. If you'd like to receive an email when this story is updated, please sign up for my announcements mailing list on my home page, www.blast-ended.org . 


	3. The Um, Er in Dumber

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. This was written for fun and no copyright infringement is intended. 

----- 

Chapter 3: The "um, er" in "Dumber" 

----- 

After the grand inquisition by all of the parents and staff, Vince and Greg found a dead end hallway in the dungeons where they could talk privately. 

"My dad gave me a tonguelashing for losing Draco," said Vince. 

"Mine too," said Greg unhappily. 

"Um," said Vince. 

"Huh?" said Greg. 

"So um. What're we gonna do?" 

"I dunno. What do you wanna do?" 

"Dunno. I asked you first." 

A pause. 

"I dunno," admitted Greg. 

"Damn," said Vince, who had been hoping to get out of the whole thinking-up-a-good-idea bit. 

A long silence trickled past. Then: 

"What about that… thingie," said Greg. 

"Uhn?" it was Vince's turn to ask. 

"The… triangle… thingie. That Draco tried to grab from them." 

"Oh. That." 

"Yeah." 

A pause. 

"So?" 

"So what?" 

"So d'you think the triangle had anything to do with… y'know…." 

"The disappearance?" 

There was a long and rather shocked pause. 

"I didn't mean _disappearance."_

"But you said it." 

"Dude. I meant… er… missingness." 

"Oh. All right then." 

"Cause if it dissapeared him, Mr. Malfoy would murder us," said Vince. 

"Whoa," said Greg. "I know!" 

"So no way did he disappear." 

"Nope," said Greg. "Um…?" 

"What?" 

"So what did happen to him?" 

"How would I know?" 

"Well I mean, what else could have happened besides disappeardedness?" 

They pondered that for a bit. 

"Portkey?" 

They both thought about it for a bit. That was certainly the most obvious option. Having grown up in wizarding families they'd seen Portkeys a lot. 

"But," said Vince. 

"Huh?" said Greg. 

"But if it was a Portkey, why couldn't they find them? Even with owls?" 

"Erm," said Greg. "Dunno." 

"Me neither," said Vince. 

Now as has been mentioned before, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle did more than put the "um" in "dumb". They put the "um, er" in "dumber". Still, they were Slytherins and therefore possessed of a natural resourcefulness that came into play any time they were stumped. Which, alas, happened on a near-daily basis. 

"We should ask a teacher," decided Vince. 

"Er. Which one?" 

"Dunno. Is it Arithmancy or Charms?" 

There was another long silence. 

Greg grunted. "If the triangle did it, it's charmed isn't it?" 

Another, even longer pause. 

"But it's a triangle," said Vince. "Aren't triangles maths stuff?" 

They stared at each other, neither having any idea whatsoever. Fortunately Greg, the pragmatist of the two, thought of a good way to decide. 

"Who's nicer between Professor Flitwick and Professor Vector?" 

----- 

Meanwhile, on the same college campus in the same Muggle town on the same wrong side of the planet, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger had made the mistake of leaving Ron alone with the paper bag and the ferret. 

As soon as they were out of sight, Ron pulled the ferret out of the bag with the intention of tormenting it. 

"Let's see you turn back by yourself, then, if you're so good at it," he grinned, prodding it with the rubber end of a Muggle pencil. 

The ferret cowered on its belly against the table, shivering. It kept glancing around as if for some escape route, but there weren't any save diving off the table headlong. Ron had no fear that Malfoy would try that. Malfoy wasn't exactly known for being your personal-danger type of fellow. 

It wasn't long before Ron was descended upon by three college-aged girls dressed in black and wearing Goth style makeup. 

"Ooh, a ferret!" squealed the first one enthusiastically. 

"Ooh!" the other two chorused. "He's so cute!" 

"Hi," said Ron, rather bemused by being surrounded by such pretty, enthusiastic girls. He blushed and grinned like a jack-o-lantern, not caring that the 'cute' was meant in reference to the ferret. After all, as far as these young ladies knew, the ferret was simply an accessory to Ron Weasley, good-looking Wizard. Er… good-looking Muggle. 

"Ooh, can I hold him?" asked one of them, eagerly. 

"Sure," said Ron generously. He picked up the ferret and offered the animal to the girls. The ferret, dangling from one hand, stared up at them with what could safely be interpreted as an expression of abject horror. 

They cooed and petted the ferret, huddled around. Its bulging eyes stared at Ron in a sort of a panic. Ron's grin became even broader. 

"What's his name?" 

"Draco," said Ron. 

"He's so cute." 

"I want one!" 

"Can we show him to our friend? She's just down the hall." 

"Sure," said Ron again, his grin nearly splitting his face in two. The ferret tried to jump into Ron's arms out of the girl's hands but she hauled its long slinky body back in hand-over-hand. 

"We'll be right back," she winked. 

Twenty minutes later, when Hermione and Harry returned from obtaining food and supplies, the girls still hadn't come back. 

"Ron!" hissed Hermione as she rushed to his side. "Where's Draco?" 

Harry picked up the discarded paper sack and tipped it upside down, demonstrating it was empty. 

"I might have… er… lent him to some girls," Ron admitted. "To play with." He started laugh. 

"You did what?" exclaimed Harry. He looked like he couldn't decide whether to laugh or be concerned. 

"Ha ha ha! He's probably being held upside down and jammed into people's shirts and such even as we speak." 

Harry couldn't help himself, he started laughing too. The picture of Draco being roughed up (lovingly of course) by girls was just too funny. And really, what harm could come to him? 

"But what if those people never bring him back?" exclaimed Hermione in alarm. 

"Good riddance I'd say," muttered Ron, a bit put off by Hermione trying to wreck the fun. "I hope they keep him in a small cage and feed him on cat food until he dies of old age." 

Harry, at least, had the grace to stop laughing and try to look serious. The operative word being 'try'. Unfortunately it didn't work too well. 

"Ron!" exclaimed Hermione. "His parents will be worried about him! And what will we tell everybody? That we let it happen on purpose?" 

"Trust me, they'll bring him back," said Ron. "Nobody could stand to be around that obnoxious git longer than a few minutes." 

But after an hour had passed, even Ron had to admit that the girls were well and truly gone. 

Oops. 

----- 

A/N: If you'd like to receive an email when this story is updated, please sign up for my announcements mailing list on my home page, www blast-ended org . If this fic was too fluffy for you, you might enjoy my extendo WIP, Blood of Mud Wing of Bat (also on fanfiction net).


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